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i think that in part, that has been the reason for his difficult sleep habits. two top molars are coming in, so nights and days are hard. he went straight from screaming all night long every night because of colics to crying because of teething pain. my son who is now 14 months old, has been teething since 4 months of age. I completely understand the extinction burst, but am far far away from actualizing it, and these are the reasons why:ġ. And in every instance I hope you choose #1.įiled Under: 1 YO, 2 YO, 9-12 Months, cry it out, parentingįirst, thank you Alexis for this amazing forum and your insightful advice. And with every burst you face, you’ll have the same parenting choice that I outlined above. That’s the joyous experience of the extinction burst. Only to have the cookie fight start anew. And if screaming doesn’t work, how about adding on some THROWING? Or (God save you) SPITTING and BITING? You power through the tantrum and get a few quiet weeks of grocery trips and think (phew!) that’s over with.

Will your child quietly acquiesce? Give you a hug and thank you for being such a thoughtful parent? Or will they go from whining to SCREAMING. So you calmly explain that cookies aren’t everyday food and you’re not going to buy them anymore. The first few times you give her a cookie because really, it’s just a cookie right? Then you realize you have your own personal Cookie Monster who is now demanding a cookie every time you pop in for a gallon of milk. Temper tantrums, whining, demands for (treats, toys, McDonalds), are all behaviors that are prone to extinction bursts.įor example, your child whines for a cookie every time you go to the grocery store. ( Hint: I’m really hoping you choose option #1)Īlso file the idea of extinction bursts away for future reference because this is not the last time you’re going to see it. But you’ll avoid a night or two of extinction burst crying. Nobody will sleep and it won’t get better for a long, long time.

Accept chronic sleep deprivation as a way of life.

Put the cork back in the champaign bottle and wait it out. Don’t go back to the rocking, nursing, pacifier use that prompted this. So what do you do about this? You have two choices: This is an extinction burst, which basically means that your child is doing even MORE of the behavior you are trying to extinguish now that you have removed the reinforcer. Or take a break for a few days and then resume the crying. However for the remaining 30% of you, your child will amp up the crying. And for roughly 70% of you it will be amazingly effective. In this case the “reward” is you nursing, popping in the pacifier, rocking to sleep, etc. It is essentially a form of “extinction therapy” where you are working to make the undesirable behavior (up all night) become extinct by no longer rewarding/reinforcing it. Sleep training via CIO is a method to break out of unhealthy sleep habits by forcing the issue because those habits are keeping everybody awake. But these two words are not just helpful for their show-off appeal. This is a great phrase to casually drop at the baby playgroup to establish yourself as someone who is capable of pronouncing multisyllabic phrases and is thus very smart (military industrial complex and LIBOR are also good). THIS is what is happening… Extinction Burst You and your partner have stopped your happy jig and are wondering what the hell just happened? Or maybe you successfully navigated CIO and have been popping a nightly bottle of Champaigne to celebrate your success for weeks, only to find yourself with a previously happy baby who is now crying. You will feel sure that CIO is just not working for your baby, that I am just another Internet idiot, and that the only solution is to go back to whatever “up all night” solution you had going before you attempted CIO in the first place because, horrendous as it was, it’s GOT to be better than THIS. However other babies will continue to cry progressively LONGER and LOUDER over subsequent nights. That is the baby expressing her disagreement with your decision that she needs to sleep.

After the first 2-3 days, some babies may complain 5-10 minutes at bedtime but that is not CIO. For most babies cry it out, if you take my sage advice, should last only a few days.